THE STORY OF GROW INTO THE CHANGE

The message I wanted to convey… that's the question. That was always the question and often my mind would just taper off without an answer. That message was not clear so, how could I even present that in my pieces, reflections or experiments? I also often found it changed throughout the experimentation process of each piece and in my reflections, I often came to reimagining my idea with the same medium. 

For the first experiment, I chose short stories—because I knew I could write short stories. There is something wonderful about how they end so soon and how you can focus on developing each tiny detail. Not only was mine intended to end quickly but also to zoom in on a moment the lives of multiple people shared. This was grounded in my origin piece through the experience that had been a part of my own life in an elevator, but I also wanted to delve into the experiences of the other individuals in that elevator. It was the story of three individuals who did not exactly understand one another, and they would not come to understand one another but even when it comes to strangers, it is worth saying a few words or acknowledging them with a smile. We are already too isolated in this world. 

I struggled with the intended audience for this piece because I was not sure how to be particular about who I was sending the message out to. It seems silly to say people who are not as prone to smile at others when in reality that was somewhat of my intended audience. It also seemed like I would be insulting the actions of others and come off as haughty, but it was a message I wanted one of the girls I had been in the elevator with to hear. I wanted her to hear herself and know why I noticed the other woman roll her eyes, and I did not blame her for that response. I could just see the cracks between their two worlds growing apart—in the opposite direction of what I would desire. So it seemed that my audience was almost too specific and not specific enough. I still am not sure what the particular audience would have been if I pursued the piece, but it was an audience of privilege, which probably included myself as well. 

My second experiment had two routes I could have approached it with, which would have determined both the audience and message. So once again, I was stuck figuring out how to convey a message and this time it was difficult to decide if I was comfortable with portraying that message. My genre was dealing with cults and a bit of true crime which was heavy material, and I was not sure a light approach would be appropriate. This connected to my origin piece in that it related to religion, and I chose cults because they provide certain answers to people who are hungering for that message. I looked at the rhetoric surrounding these events of murder, riots, and a lot of content dealing with sexual assault. One of my earlier considerations in the experiment was that I would create some cult theory and make a mock website that was attempting to promote that particular theory. Cults have such a negative association with them, though, that it felt dangerous to try to create a theory with good intentions. In the process of my experimentation, I also realized as well that most if not all cults had a male leader, except QAnon which is by an anonymous individual and is an incredibly unique cult. This spurred some sort of inspiration for the reimagining of my experiment as well. 

The inspiration that came about during my reflection was that it would be helpful to take a satirical approach towards QAnon. Despite their violence at the capital riots, there was something so easily attackable in their theories and the elements of the cult were like none other-- an online conspiracy theory that called people to action and called one man to action enough to go to a random store and demand they release the kids in their basement. They show a need in society, a need for this man to make this action because he felt his idea of America was being attacked. So in reimagining this experiment, I wanted to create a website that made people look at the absolute ludicrous nature of a cult like QAnon and the illegitimacy of their theories. This had a very direct message and audience—Qanon should not be promoted and the audience was those who did support their theories. In the end, I decided not to work with the idea of cults because of the heaviness and sometimes darkness of the topic, but it was very exciting to dive into and produce a concept that did this time have a direct message and audience. 

For my last experiment I decided on a podcast, and for the third time, my message was hazy as well as my audience. I wanted to do a podcast of the stories of 3 individuals and have them share their stories about their lives, but that was not focused enough and would have been difficult. Throughout my experiment research, I gained a newfound respect for podcasts which I had not felt before. There was one podcast where people phoned in at 2:45 am to a number Radiolab had provided. The podcast was fused together in the unification of people's lives, sharing different experiences that were spanning across our country between the wildfires, pandemic, and BLM. After that podcast, I had a desire to create something similar that connected people directly to the voices of others. It was my inspiration for the idea I finally settled on—Grow into the Change. I was having a college experience, stalled by this pandemic and feeling a bit lost at the time, and wanted to know how others were feeling so hopefully I could share a feeling of comfort with others. What I found was growth where I thought we were stunted. I found that in a time where everything drastically changed, our generation was able to evolve and it gave me some comfort at least. I found my message and audience being for college-age students to stop and recognize and appreciate the growth they have experienced. So, enjoy listening to the stories of Sarah Rabuat, Jacob Zivin, and Garance Robert, simply all college students.